The Doctor

Last week I made a reference to Doctor Who.  It's about time I shared some of my feelings about this absolutely incredible television series.

The short version.

Quick summary of Doctor Who:  That one on the far right is named The Doctor.  That's it, just The Doctor.  Not Doctor Smith or Doctor Watson, just The Doctor.  He's an alien.  His race is called the Time Lords.  They live a very, very long time and, when they're about to die, can regenerate.  When they regenerate, they gain an entirely new body, new personality, but keep all the memories.  Each Time Lord can only regenerate about 13 times in their life before dying.  So, all of the people in the following image are The Doctor:

These are all The Doctor

So is this guy:

John Hurt as The Doctor

 And this guy, Peter Capaldi, is the latest, but we don't yet have any episodes with him actually in them, except right at the end...

Not sure how I feel about the power pose...

So, clear enough so far?  He's a really, really old alien (something like 1300 years old at current), and he changes his face every couple hundred years or so.




So, what's so interesting about that?  Well, The Doctor is quite the interesting character.  He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant, but also sincerely compassionate, fair, kind, fun, and generally a good person.  One character once described him this way:

Powerful, incredible, and wonderful.

And one time, he described himself like this:

The next line is, "that is who I am."

To boot, he is a time traveler.  He travels time in a machine called the TARDIS (it stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) that has taken the form of an old police telephone box.  Time travel is complicated, and his adventures are complicated and dangerous and exciting.

Kinda got away from me...

But all of this is not the reason I like Doctor Who.  I love it because of what The Doctor stands for.  He is a Doctor, after all.  He is a living embodiment of trying to heal, of trying to do what is right, to never give up, never give in, never be cowardly, and never stop caring.

--The Doctor

He doesn't travel with a weapon of any kind.  The only thing he really carries around?  A screwdriver, but a sonic one instead of the normal kind.  That actually makes it significantly less intimidating, but remarkably more useful.

Jack Harkness: Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic."?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored?  Never had a long night?  Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

 

And he doesn't give up on anyone.  All life is sacred to him.  All things have to die eventually, sure.  Death is just a part of life.  But all life, wherever possible, should be protected.

He was in a war once, and it changed him a lot.  As far as he knows his entire species was likely wiped out, and it was entirely his fault.  As a result he's an advocate for peace to a fault.  Just because something looks scary doesn't mean it's bad or evil or really scary.  It just means it's different.  The Doctor is very accepting.

There are many, many lessons from Doctor Who...

Not my list, but a darn good one.

I could rant about it all day.  It's not perfect.  There are parts that I would skip if I were you.  The parallels to life lessons, the gospel (try modeling your life after "the Great Physician" and see if you don't feel a bit like a Doctor), and just good fun are many.  This is one of the few shows that I really, sincerely enjoy.

And, let's face it, I really just want to get through medical school, walk up to a patient and say, "Hello, I'm the Doctor."

Gallifrey Falls No More

This post is not my normal silliness.  It rambles a bit, but it's about something that I'm very passionate about.  It is not a post that makes people feel warm fuzzies usually.  It is also about my church.  If you choose to skip this one, I will not hold it against you in any way.

This painting...

 The name of this post comes from the name of a painting in a Doctor Who episode.  The painting isn't really a painting, it's a kind of alien (Time Lord) art that takes an actual moment in time and freezes it exactly as it happened.  This is the picture of the protagonist's (The Doctor's) homeworld being lost in the last great battle between his race and another, the Fall of Arcadia.  He is left the only member of his species, the last of the Time Lords.  There are many things that I love about this episode and this show in general, but allow me to give a brief synopsis of some of the key points of this episode and why I chose to use it as the title of this post:

WARNING, DOCTOR WHO SPOILER ALERT, DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

The Doctor sealed this war in a time lock, using a great weapon, saving the universe, burning his own species.  The war was tearing the universe apart.  The Gallifrey High Council receives a message, Arcadia has fallen.  The Doctor has stolen a device that will destroy his people and the enemy troops but save the universe.  But the device is sentient and leads him on a journey that ends up giving him a different solution.

For those of you unfamiliar with SciFi or Doctor Who the above paragraph probably made no sense at all.  No matter, the ending has the moral.

The Doctor is a title, a name chosen with a promise.  That promise is to save, to heal, and to give hope.  The Doctor does something impossible and incredible because of that promise.  He comes up with a plan to save his world.  He sends a message that Gallifrey, his homeworld, stands.  He ends up saving everything because he stands true to his promise.  He can't remember that he didn't destroy them all for very complicated, timey-wimey reasons, but he saved it nonetheless.  That's why his name is the Doctor.  Healing, hope, no cruelty, no malice, kindness, peace.

The painting is revealed in the end to be called, "Gallifrey Falls No More."  Meaning that his plan worked, against all odds.

So why am I so worked up about this?  Because the Doctor stood by what he knew was right, even when it seemed like there was no alternative.  He took a stand, even when the future was murky (an especially uncomfortable feeling for a time traveler).  

This post is a stand.  It's a very roundabout way (those who know me know that sometimes I take a long time to get to a point, and sometimes I don't make it very well, but this is who I am :P) of talking about what is going on around me right now.

This post is really about these people.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  A "Mormon," as it were.  There is a lot of media right now about my church and various social issues.  This is my way of saying where I stand right now.  I believe that this church is led by Prophets of the Almighty, Living, Loving God.  I believe that He guides His church through them.  Whatever the issues of the day are, now or in years to come, I will stand by those Prophets, whoever they may be.  It will be considered old-fashioned at times.  It will be considered brilliant at times.  I don't really care.  When they say things are changing, I will embrace the change.  When they say that things are a certain way, I will stand by them.  Why?  Because I believe that God will put His church into whatever position He wants it to be at any time.  Will they make mistakes?  Probably.  They are human and fallible, same as all of us, but God will make His way known somehow.  I am willing to trust Him and them in patience.  Policy may change or it may not.  Doctrine that I thought I understood may be shown to be more complicated and I may need to deepen my understanding, or it may stay the same.  Whatever the path that this church leads, I will trust these people.  Questions should be raised by those who have them, but once a question is raised to those who need to hear it, I will wait patiently for the answer and accept whatever that answer is at that time.  If the answer changes later, I will embrace that fully.  I believe this is God's work and that, in His own way, He will make things right.

I will love everyone, whatever their decisions may be.  That is my task, none other.  Those decisions may lead them to disagree with and even leave the church.  I will be sorry to see them go, as I know the happiness and joy that is to be found in the Gospel.  I choose today to "trust in the Lord with all [my] heart, and lean not unto [mine] own understanding..."  That includes His prophets.  I sustain, support, and trust them.  I lend my voice as one for them.

hmm...

I'm sorry if this means that I sound bigoted, brainwashed, uneducated, misogynistic, patriarchal, evil, hateful, or whatever else you may think.  I felt that you, dear reader, should know this about me.  I am all in.  I made that promise years ago.  I will stand by it.  I trust that, by so doing, the Kingdom of God, as Gallifrey, will fall no more.  I believe that is the only way to ensure that.  I may not understand everything.  I may not have all the answers.  There will be things that trouble me.  I will stand by this Kingdom and Church no matter what happens. 

Yup

I took a name too, with a promise, years ago.  It was His name.  As part of that promise it was to trust in God's timing.  He is God.  He loves us all.  He will give us all that will be for our good.  I trust His leaders completely. 

This painting means, to me, to do what is right, no matter the personal cost.  To take a stand and to stick by it, keeping the promises that make you who you are.  To stand for something even when nobody else believes it will make a difference.

No More

I'm sorry if this didn't make much sense.  Such am I, sometimes.  I'm doubly sorry if you took offense to anything I wrote.  I don't mean to give it.  I just want to be clear that this is where I stand.

To those considering leaving, please stay.  Please trust that it will clear up in the end.  I don't know how, but I know it will.  I need you in this church.  Please don't leave. 

Dearest You,

Dearest You,

You don't know who you are.  I don't know who you are.  But we know each other from long, long ago.  You are my Faraway, Forever Love.  I've been looking for You.  Did You know that?  I've been trying to be the person You would have me be.  I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

XKCD knows :P

I love You.  This isn't a small, friend's love.  It is a full, blooming love.  I may have never met you in this life, but I know You're there.  This is my message in a bottle.  I don't think you'll actually read this, at least, not right now.  But I can't help but write it.

I almost wrote this letter before, but I didn't know how.  I woke up dreaming of You.  You took the form of someone I thought You might be.  Maybe You are she, and we just don't know it yet.  How can I know?

I'm searching, trying to find You.  Please let me find You.  I don't know how.  I've been trying to shine so You can see me, but maybe You can't yet.  Are You looking for me too?  Sometimes I think I've found You, but that person doesn't seem to recognize me.  Maybe You just don't recognize me yet.  Maybe it's not time that we recognize each other yet.  Maybe I just didn't measure up.

This is what I know about You: You are the example of faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue.  You will sing with me.  You will dance with me.  You will try to understand my crazy science and medicine interests and life.  You will want priesthood blessings.  You will believe in the priesthood.  You will be all-in with the church.  You will know how to sustain our leaders.  You will help me be better.  You will let me help You be better too.  You will understand that I need someone to believe in me.  I need praise and trust.  You will know how to give that.  You will not mock me or ridicule me.  You will know how I feel by sensing it, as I don't tell people often.  You will love service.  You will believe deeply in missionary work.  You will support me in callings.  You will want to serve in callings Yourself and will let me support You too.  You will love the temple.  You will go with me to the temple often.  You will want to found our relationship on righteous principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  You will help us form good habits.

This is a Rorschach test.  What do you see? :)

You will not be perfect, but You will be perfect to me.  You will be just as crazy as I am.


And You will love Doctor Who.

Because everyone is important

My heart aches for You.  The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other.  I am not whole without You.  I feel a deep, almost overwhelming desire to be with You, but I don't even know who You are.

Said it, you did :).

We made a special agreement before this life with each other.  That's not true for everyone, but it's true for us.  Do You know that?  Do You believe that?

Where are You?

Why can't I find You?

Oh, that's why.

Dolls

For those who don't know me all that well, let me tell you something about myself: I hate to have unfinished stories.  This causes me problems sometimes.  Problems like the first time I read the Harry Potter books.

I think I better read all of those in a week to be sure...

This is one of the main reasons why I try to avoid TV shows like the plague.  Especially the ones on Amazon Prime or Netflix.  I simply cannot stay awake long enough for all seven seasons of whatever television show with which you have completely fallen in love.

And that's when I washed my life away...

But I decided to indulge myself.  It is now 6:30 AM and I have finished the second and (thankfully) the last season of the television show I decided to watch.  What, pray tell, was the show?  I don't recommend it much, but the premise was interesting.  It is a TV show produced by Joss Whedon called Dollhouse.

And this is the logo

The premise is a technology that can erase you and record someone else over your brain.  This has lead to the creation of dollhouses: secret, very expensive, for-hire programmable people.  This of course is abused, weaponized, and leads to the end of civilization as we know it (all technology does this.  I know, it's in all the movies).  The plot was decent.  There was way too much sex in my opinion (if you want my views on this, feel free to ask, but here is not the time and place).  But overall, I'm not sure it was worth my time...except for maybe one or three lessons...

The irony of using this image is not lost on me.

People volunteered to be "dolls" when they felt they couldn't face life.  They ran away from it.  Then they lost years of their lives.  They gave those years away.  They let themselves become someone else.  Lesson 1: running away from your problems will never solve them; they must be faced.  Lesson 2: Everyone and everything is trying to tell you who to be, and you decide how much they program you; being an individual in a programmed world is perhaps the most powerful thing you can do.  Lesson 3: Above everything else, doing what's right makes you more of an individual than anything else; doing what's wrong brings very boring sameness.  Lesson 4: Live your life, every minute of it; don't give your life away to work or games or movies or TV shows ( I know, I'm working on it); your time here is precious and may never come back; do those things, but do them to enhance your life, not to be defined by them.

There, now you don't have to watch it ;).  Live life!  Give love, receive love.  Do what is right, let the consequence follow :). 

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a night's sleep I need to catch up on...

So you didn't waste your time, puppy.

While You Were Sleeping

So...many, many things have happened since I last wrote, and I'm afraid I would burn myself out if I wrote about all of them, but a brief overview is needed before I write another post entirely.  After all, I know this has been all of you during my hiatus:

Why isn't he writing anything?!?

 I have been plenty busy.  I managed to graduate.  Yay!  I am officially a Chemistry B.A.  Hehehe.  I can now, with the authority of a degree, do science stuffs!

Me at work.

I also moved to a whole new, super-secret lair.  I am, in fact writing this post from that very lair.  Nobody will ever know where it is...unless...is that a sign outside?!?

Okay, this isn't actually outside where I live, but wouldn't it be cool if it was? :)

My life largely consists of going to work, running, and reading.  I am going to start book 11 of 13 of A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.  I never read them when I was a child, and am excited to read them now that I have more time!  The first book is called The Bad Beginning and the books get progressively more unfortunate.  I love them.  It's hard to describe them...just read them.  Really, they are quite good.

Doesn't this just look like a great book? :)

I have not, as of yet, been accepted into any medical schools for this upcoming fall, so I am choosing to live my life as if I were not going for another year.  In keeping with that spirit, I have made a somewhat rash decision:  I am going to run an obstacle course.  It's considered a rather difficult one.  It's called the Tough Mudder.  It's not until September, but I've started training for it to be ready...this one will push me a lot.  Obstacles include electric wires, dark tunnels, and walls of flame.  It should be a good time :).

See?  Doesn't that just look like fun?  The guy on the right looks like he's smiling!  Kinda...

I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life.  I expected to be married, maybe even have a kid on the way, be moving to somewhere for medical school, and doing a lot less running.  I believe there is a reason why things happen that will work for your good if you trust in a loving God.  I still trust that things will work out for the best, even if I can't understand it right now.  I have had some of the most amazing experiences I could ever hope to have as a result of the path I've walked.  I don't know where I'll end up or when, but it will be worth it.

I'll write more later! :)

My Kids

For those of you wondering...I don't have biological kids. :)  This is a post about the eleven people that I took care of and were really like my kids.

I just finished my contract as a Resident Advisor at Housing and Residential Education at the University of Utah.  These eleven people were the residents in my house.  They were my family.

These are my kids, a friend, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson

I won't embarrass them by listing what I love about each one of them, but let me just say how absolutely amazing they all are!  Each and every one of them is dear to my heart in different ways.  Some of them are little kids, some of them are like teenagers, and some of them are like uncles to the kids.  They mean the absolute world to me.  They have made my world this last year.  They have helped me to heal and have let me love in ways that I can't even begin to say.

They made a family tree, and put me as the mom.  Gender roles led them to this...but it's kinda true.  I tried to get to know each of them individually.  I listened to them for hours on end.  I counseled them about life and love.  I learned to love each of their stories, each of their individual souls.  I cared for their emotional well being.  Some of them have passed through very hard things, and I had the wonderful opportunity to help them heal.

Sometimes you get people like these 11 in your life.  Cherish those moments.  Love them with your whole heart, and they will show you greater happiness than you may know existed before.  They will change your life.  These twelve changed mine.  I don't have kids, so I don't actually know what that's like, but I love them as much as I can imagine loving my own kids.  They are unique and wonderful and amazing and have incredible things ahead of them.

Dear reader, these are my kids.  Take care of them if you know them. :)  I love them.

Easter

I am in the throes of finals.  I am ridiculously busy with multiple assignments and multiple finals coming up...

Not really, but it feels like it.

 So why am I blogging at a time like this?  Easy, it's Easter, and I can't pass up saying how I feel about today, no matter how busy I am.

This will be another religious post.  I promise they're not all like this, but April's a big month for it.  Just hold out until May if you don't want to read it ;).

Believe it or not, I just google these, I don't even make them...

Today I celebrate the resurrection of the man called Jesus the Christ.  This means that I believe that a man named Jesus (or Yeshua, depending on how close to the original Hebrew you want to get(ישוע if I'm not mistaken in my googling)) was killed sometime right before the passover and that the morning after the passover he came to life again, but not as a mortal anymore.  He became "the firstfruits of them that slept."  This means that I believe that I (along with everyone else) will follow Him in that I too will rise again after my death.

I believe that he came back to a body of flesh and bones.  I believe that we will do the same.

I believe that He was the Christ (the anointed one).  This means that I believe that He came and lived and died for me.  He fulfilled a mission in this life that made it possible to become like Him.

This is what my church claims to believe, that we are destined to become Gods and that Christ showed the way how.  This day I celebrate what, if it was true, was the sealing evidence in His case, His literal resurrection.  I believe that He rose that Easter Sunday almost 2000 years ago. 

I believe that He said it best when He said "I am He who liveth, I am he who was slain.  I am your advocate with the Father."

Why do I believe all of this, you may ask?  I make a habit of prayer, and I have felt Him there.  I have felt Him guide me towards choices that seemed ludicrous to me but ended up being exactly what I needed.  I have watched Him change lives.  I have seen the changes in my own life that I've needed to make with His help.  I have felt His comfort when there was literally nowhere else to turn.  I have felt His love when I was completely alone.  I know He is there.  I know He lives.  I know He died for me.  He is my God and my Savior.

He is my Shepherd

All of these things I know more completely than I know anything else.  They are my reason to do anything that I do.  This is the foundation of my life.  I know it's not much, but I need to get back to finals week.  But do know, dear reader, that I know. 

If you have the time, and if you are inclined to an experiment, try it.  Pray to Heavenly Father, ending in the name of Jesus Christ, asking Him if He is there and if His son lives, lived, and died for you.  You will feel what I feel if you really want to know for yourself.  This will change your life.  It has changed mine forever.  That is what I celebrate this Easter Sunday.

A beautiful depiction of Christ in the Salt Lake Temple Square Visitor's Center