Something came to my mind the other day, and I've taken it as sort of a mission statement: "My mission in life is to serve Love, to feel Love, and to become Love." Let me explain. This comes from the biblical injunction "God is Love." I like this phrasing because it helps me put emphasis on what I feel pure religion is. I feel that our purpose in this life is to serve God in Love by serving others with our whole hearts and loving them, to feel love as we form relationships and bonds that are meant to last forever, and to become as God is, in perfect love.
As for love itself, it is much more than attraction. It is an accepting. To truly love someone you must accept them. That does not mean that you have to agree with everything they do. That does not mean that you don't want better things for them. It means that, even if they never change, you can still support and sustain them to the best of your ability. I feel that this is true in both a romantic and a friendship relationship. If you master it, you can love somebody even before you get to know them.
Now a word about relationships:
This month will be two years since I returned from serving an LDS mission. I am not married. I am not engaged. I am not dating anyone with any degree of seriousness. If you are LDS and from Utah, you may think that I am a menace to society. Maybe I am...
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| (I like memes...don't judge...this is from a series called rage comics) |
Please know that I wish with all my heart to start a family. For those of you that are not LDS, let me explain. We believe that the family is central to our happiness. We believe that a man and woman are to grow and progress together and "neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man, in the Lord." I believe that the greatest joy in life is to be found in a family relationship. I desire sincerely to have a wife and children. I recognize that it is one of the most challenging things in the world to support a family. I hold no illusions that it will be rainbows and butterflies. Nevertheless I dream of a marriage of true love with my wife. I dream of facing every challenge together.
Jeffrey R. Holland, a leader in my church, said the following, which I believe fully:
“One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other. … We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load...
“love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person...
“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. That is Christ’s great atoning example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.”
This is the kind of relationship I desire to have, the kind of love I desire to give and to receive. I hope to, one day, find somebody who helps me to reach this goal. I understand that neither she nor I will be perfect, but we can help each other to grow and to progress.
I admit that I have fears about relationships. I fear that I ask too much of a spouse. Between my involvement in medicine and my church and other service, things that define the basics of who I am, my life will be hectic and my spouse will have her hands full. I can only promise all my love, and I admit that I'm not sure that's enough for many people. I'm afraid sometimes that I'm so weird that nobody will really understand me. You can ask any of my housemates, I'm an odd duck...I hope to find someone.
I have been unlucky in love. I have had very few relationships. I did not date seriously in high school (which means to me that I never dated just one person) because I believe that dating is meant to be preparation for marriage, which I was not prepared to consider until after I served an LDS mission. When I got back I went looking for love but still haven't found it fully. A series of very unhealthy relationships left me very broken and not myself. I have had some people that have helped me heal in ways innumerable. My RA staff has been a blessing to me, listening, not judging, and helping me process and get back to who I really am. My ward has been a great support, even though they never really knew what was happening. My housemates, both last year and this year. My family, of course. The few other friends who listened to rants and tears and frustrations and fears. I am still not completely healed, nor do I think I will be until I find someone to whom I can open fully again, but I have healed more than I can say. I am more grateful than I can say.
Which leads me out of relationships into the need for love. Everyone needs love. We need it desperately. We need someone who we can trust. We need someone who we know will accept us, weaknesses and all. We need someone that is willing to trust us even though they know us. We need to give love, as that heals our hearts from the darkness in this world. We need Love.
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| An important message from the Legend of Zelda...Kind of... |
“One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other. … We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the load...
“love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender hands, caring hands. To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship. It is a real act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise. If we do it right, we end up sharing everything—all our hopes, all our fears, all our dreams, all our weaknesses, and all our joys—with another person...
“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. That is Christ’s great atoning example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.”
This is the kind of relationship I desire to have, the kind of love I desire to give and to receive. I hope to, one day, find somebody who helps me to reach this goal. I understand that neither she nor I will be perfect, but we can help each other to grow and to progress.
I admit that I have fears about relationships. I fear that I ask too much of a spouse. Between my involvement in medicine and my church and other service, things that define the basics of who I am, my life will be hectic and my spouse will have her hands full. I can only promise all my love, and I admit that I'm not sure that's enough for many people. I'm afraid sometimes that I'm so weird that nobody will really understand me. You can ask any of my housemates, I'm an odd duck...I hope to find someone.
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| Two people who understand each other...even in their weird way. http://xkcd.com/433/ |
Which leads me out of relationships into the need for love. Everyone needs love. We need it desperately. We need someone who we can trust. We need someone who we know will accept us, weaknesses and all. We need someone that is willing to trust us even though they know us. We need to give love, as that heals our hearts from the darkness in this world. We need Love.
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| True Love with thaw a frozen heart. |
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